Stylistic

Ok, so I was trying out a new writing style and I need critiques. Here is a dream I had a while ago that I wrote up.



I don’t know why they are after me. I know only one thing; escape is mandatory. They are coming.

For an odd reason, They weren’t here yet, but it was almost as if I could sense them, and they were coming.

I run.

Where to I have no clue. I speed through the slums of the town, past dirty dingies and smoky windows. Not another thing is moving…only me.

Still, I run. I can feel the magnetic fields of the flying crafts pressing against my skin.

Eventually, life begins to be seen as I travel out of the slums and into the main part of the city. I pass many people, wordlessly, blindly. The suddenly, I know.

They had landed and have begun the invasion.

I had not yet neared the edge of the industry district. I know immediately that attempting to warn the population, at this point, would be futile.

I come across a tall rusty construction tower. Its purpose is unknown to me. Instinct immediately tells me: climb and you will escape! I obey.

I blend in seamlessly with the others of my town climbing the tower. I reach the top and run into Him.

He is handsome beyond comparison. His grey-green eyes connect with mine. We exchange words.

I tell him to escape while he can. His grey-green eyes ask why.

Because They are coming.

Who are They?

They are Them That Roam the Skies. The words escaped before I, myself could comprehend them.

What?

I’m not sure. All I know is They are dangerous and have come, invading. No one is safe.

Isn’t there some way to defend ourselves?

I find myself looking at the only elevator, which is generally used for cargo.

An epiphany.

I gaze back at His grey-green eyes.

The elevator is the only safe annex.

Simultaneously, as if one body, the others in the population turn and stare at us conversing.

They, too, had also heard.

People begin to stampede toward the Annex. He gives me a meaningful glance and grabs my hand. We draw nearer to the quickly filling elevator.

Suddenly, everything blurs before me. I feel my hand leave his, my body jostled! I find myself on the ground. I look up in time to see the doors closing, and His fear-filled eyes, calling my name.
He is trapped by the crowd; the doors boom shut. He is gone, safe.

But not I.

I stand, cringing, both from pain and fear. They were not far away; They were climbing the tower.

I hurry to the other side of the platform and fly down the ladder. As I turn, I see the tops of their heads, and found They have caught denizens of my city.

I flee, scared beyond reason. Only one thought rules my mind and body:

Don’t let them touch you!

Past buildings, factories and shacks I soar, feeling no pain or fatigue. I draw nearer to the center of the city. I chance a glance behind me and instantly regret it.

I am pursued closely by members of my own kin, my own way of life. I know they are not themselves. They had been touched, and to me, they were dead!

Tears escape and yet I cannot feel them. A devouring hopelessness begins to grasp me. I feel my body begin to slow.

No! I cannot let them take me!

I run faster than before, and yet needles suddenly explode through my ankle, up my leg. I fall hard, stunned and unable to move. Panic begins to ensue.

I turn over, scrambling to regain my footing to escape. Have to escape; MUST ESCAPE!!

They turn the corner and I am beleaguered.

Their glazed eyes have a strange gleam as They advance. My heart pounds, I want to scream, but cannot! I try to find a way out, but there is no way. All hope is gone!

They advance closer; They reach for me! I shrink away. My anguished scream finally escapes, echoing like a dying bird; a last desperate attempt to live.

Then blackness fades Their reaching hands…then nothing.

Hope your life is simpler!
Azzie